ENCOUNTERS WITH FAMOUS PEOPLE This memory makes me go 'Yewww' very loudly.
Aeons ago, my friend Ann and I were lurking on the fringes of a D-list party. (So much more fun, incidentally, than an A-list bash: A-listers are roped off, but D-listers have to fend for themselves out among the plebs i.e. myself and Ann.)
Aeons ago, my friend Ann and I were lurking on the fringes of a D-list party. (So much more fun, incidentally, than an A-list bash: A-listers are roped off, but D-listers have to fend for themselves out among the plebs i.e. myself and Ann.)
Reeling off the unimpressive star spots – a Les Dennis here, a weatherman there – we were thrilled to see Michael Flatley, of Riverdance fame, holding court across the room. Even without supertight trousers he was memorable, being white of tooth, orange of skin and buoyant of ego. 'I dare you,' said Ann, 'to go over to him and say whatever I tell you to'. I agreed, because I can't resist a dare. And because I am an idiot.
I approached Michael, who smiled very charmingly at me. I said, as per the evil Ann's instructions, 'Michael, I want to thank you for all you've done for Irish dance.'
He put his mouth to my ear and whispered 'I love it when you talk dirty to me'.
See? Yewww.
I approached Michael, who smiled very charmingly at me. I said, as per the evil Ann's instructions, 'Michael, I want to thank you for all you've done for Irish dance.'
He put his mouth to my ear and whispered 'I love it when you talk dirty to me'.
See? Yewww.
IRISHISMS
“She saw that on a hall door”
Pure Dublin bitchiness, to be used if a woman lies about her age. When a botoxed, lifted, nipped, tucked and lipo-sucked actress claims to be twenty nine for the tenth year in a row, you can purse your lips, raise your eyebrows and hiss 'She saw that on a hall door', or, in other words 'the only time that particular lady sees the number 29 it is a house number on a front door, as she is undoubtedly older than that'.
“She saw that on a hall door”
Pure Dublin bitchiness, to be used if a woman lies about her age. When a botoxed, lifted, nipped, tucked and lipo-sucked actress claims to be twenty nine for the tenth year in a row, you can purse your lips, raise your eyebrows and hiss 'She saw that on a hall door', or, in other words 'the only time that particular lady sees the number 29 it is a house number on a front door, as she is undoubtedly older than that'.
THIS MUCH I KNOW No woman needs a peep toe boot.
UNRESTRAINED CUTENESS Look away now if 'the funny things kiddiwinks say' make you retch and reach for your combined mini-pill.
This week Niamh, who's 6, handed her Daddy a note which read “I hav lovd you since I ws born”.
At some age we stop being quite so open about it, don't we? Shame.
This week Niamh, who's 6, handed her Daddy a note which read “I hav lovd you since I ws born”.
At some age we stop being quite so open about it, don't we? Shame.
THE WEEK ACCORDING TO MAVIS Our bewhiskered adventuress had an injection; barked at a fox; wore a spotty coat; got cheese in her ears. Quite a week, even by her standards.
